Gluten-Bombed! or "What's a HypFoodie Like You Doing in a State Like This?"

Allergens are sneaky. They can fly under the defensive radar of any watchful, label-reading, home-cooking, allergy-freedom-loving Food Fixer like you or me. A change of formula or a new vocabulary term for an old antagonist and POOF! You're a sick princess battling cerebellar confusion in an effort to mentally retrace your steps and figure out where you went wrong in your carefully guarded food plan.

Resistance is futile. To the best of my diligent research, this confusion cannot currently be treated. We, the afflicted, must simply wait until the contaminant has cleared our system and we regain the ability to think normally. I stand in the middle of my room at this point, looking to heaven and praying to God, "What happened? I have been so careful! Why am I so confused?" It makes me wonder how much of Alzheimer's and other dementias are actually long-term Gluten problems that were never diagnosed or handled.

Rote activities like laundry, filing, gardening can fill the hours, or days, or weeks until then, but expect to be slower than usual. It's generally fine to drive, as long as you are willing to proceed within the lowered limits of your visual processor. In other words, SLOW DOWN.

Anything that requires forward planning or instant recall will probably be beyond you for the duration. I know it is beyond me when I'm in that condition. And I know I will not get better unless the offending food or condition is eliminated.

RULES TO LIVE BY: 

Read those labels, 

especially for any product that is new to you 

or any familiar product that displays the word "NEW" on the packaging. 

AND

When in doubt, leave it out. 

That's right! If there's any question in your mind about the fitness of a product for your personal regimen, don't even put it in your shopping cart. This is easier to maintain when you have been sick or reactive recently. Nobody wants an encore of the hour long naps three times per day or the lightning elimination rounds every quarter hour on the porcelain throne.

The truth is, after you've been well for a few short months, you might begin to think you're over it or imagine it was all in your head. So you try the offending ingredient again.

BIG MISTAKE!

It was NOT a bad dream and you are NOT a hypochondriac. More likely, you're the canary in the coal mine of your neighborhood. Our food and water supplies have been heavily altered by industrialization (and worse influences), becoming progressively more polluted and UN-natural. One must be highly vigilant and proactive to move beyond all that soundly and sanely.

In fact, it's a full-time job for a while to establish reliable data on what is bad for YOU (and/or your loved ones, those who depend on you to keep them safe) and how to replace it with something good. It's easier to find alternatives today than it ever was in previous decades, but many of the actual skills and sources have to be cultivated, curated and relearned in our rising generations. Often, this is why we blog/publish/teach.

A few twisted souls insist on proving the maxim of the fictional curmudgeon, Dr. Gregory House: "Everybody lies." Okay, call it misinformation. Maybe they don't know how to manage cross-contamination. Maybe they don't understand how many products contain some form of the allergen you have asked to be protected from. Or maybe they are skeptical or greedy for profit or just plain mean. However it happens, it's the customer who gets hurt.

Occasionally, it happens that you just don't remember an offender. They say time heals all wounds. Well, maybe, but it certainly blurs the memory of certain food/environmental offenses. You get better, busier, joy returns to your frame of focus and you forget that a certain food or condition will hurt you. I know I do. That's part of why I write about these things: to help me track and remember what I must avoid.

In my most recent incident, it happened because I broke the cardinal rule of the teaching nuns, as all my Catholic-schooled girlfriends have told it to me:

DON'T ASSUME.
DON'T (make an) ASS (out of) U (and) ME.

Or, as it is expressed in our post-modern, virtual maelstrom:

TRUST, BUT VERIFY. 

I confess: I'd been lusting after the latest gluten free loaf bread from my dearest blogging icon, GlutenFreeGoddess. I was longing to partake of its warm earthiness, but spurned the compilation process -- 1,2,3, how many flours? and gums? plus flakes? I exaggerate for effect, but Oh my! I don't actually love to spend more than 3-4 hours in the kitchen each day, including clean up. Unless we are shooting. But that's a different tale.

I procrastinated, imagining it would take hours to prep and complete this bread. But the inviting photos and the sweetly persuasive prose of Karina's blog pursued me. Everywhere. I gave in to the siren song, standing in the grocer's aisle, studying the bag of Buckwheat Flour in my hands.

"It's not labeled gluten-free," my censor cautioned my inner Samurai.

"I know, but it's Buckwheat from Bob's," the Warrior Princess wailed silently. She knows that Buckwheat itself is actually Gluten Free. Gluten contamination is common, but additive.

The Executive Center of my brain was fully aware of how long I'd been standing there, growing increasingly self-conscious. "Okay, we'll try it," it snapped, deciding it was time to move along before the staff sent for the coat with the extra-long sleeves. 

I made my first loaf in the bread machine. It was not pretty, but it tasted G-O-O-D and it was very satisfying. I'm all about convenience as long as it's fresh and healthy, but I decided I might like this bread better as an oven-baked loaf, just as the author had herself prepared. And after all, our Seattle summer was showing a very distinct trend toward total "in absentia," so why not heat up the smaller oven?

Oh my sweet Lord! It was true! The oven-baked bread was glory in a loaf pan! And it was neither difficult or time consuming to prepare! Surprisingly, it was utterly therapeutic -- feeding the yeast with local honey, proofing the loaf in a gentle oven, anticipating the treat as the house filled with this amazing aroma! I was devoted. Instantly.

Two more loaves followed this one, each as the previous went down the hatch. Meanwhile, my joint pain, extreme fatigue with ensuing naps and rashes had flared up again. I thought it resulted from my time in the garden with full, unexpected sun and waited patiently to get better. This bread was so delicious that I ate more of it than I normally do. One slice with lunch became 2 and sometimes a wee bit of toast with butter or honey before bed.

Fresh, organic blueberries flooded our local markets. Gigantic ones, full of flavor; not those tasteless hydroponic fruits that Big Food likes to foist on us. Everyone was blogging about the best ways to prepare these luscious fruits. Blueberry pie, Hubbers' fave, was executed and consumed with gusto! Hand pie experiments were highly rewarding, as well. And then I discovered the GlutenFreeGoddess' Blueberry Muffin Cake recipe. Down to the Buckwheat Flour, I was fully prepared to test drive this one!

In the most completely objective terms, it was hands-down the lightest and most flavorful Gluten Free cake that I have ever tasted anywhere! And I shared it with other Gluten Free friends!

But then, lo and behold! GlutenFreeGirl tweeted a notice that @Bob's_Red_Mill Buckwheat Flour is NOT gluten free.

WHAT?

Did I KNOW that?

Who could verify?

I sought help from Gluten Free friends online for a day and a half, but they were strangely silent on this subject. Finally, I called Bob's_Red_Mill directly and received the sad news: "We grind the hulls back into the buckwheat to give it extra (something) and for this reason, it doesn't test Gluten Free," the cheery but sympathetic CSR reported. "So sorry!"

I felt the Iron Maiden of exclusion clanging shut around me as my lovely new treats became unreachable. I mourned the 3/4 loaf of bread and 1/4 cake that would now go into the bird feeder. I decided it wasn't entirely safe to compost them, because I would still inhale the contaminant gluten when next I mulched the garden.

I spent another 2 days searching out what I hope is a more reliable source of Buckwheat Flour, stone-milled with water power on a family farm in Tennessee. They promised they tear down everything between product runs and thoroughly clean all surfaces. In the spirit of Trust but Verify, I ordered the flour (it sounds so romantic) and bought myself an EZgluten test kit so that I can have empirical proof of the gluten status on all of my flours. 

You see, the Goddess' buckwheat recipes are just TOO GOOD to do without. I was frantic for a source of this artisanal flour that could provide me the means to continue this new and delightful feast of baked fancies.

I resigned myself to the toilet trudgery and stocked up on chlorine-free baby wipes.

I celebrated the realization that dairy-free bread really was much better for me than Gluten Free bread mixes that contain powdered milk products.

And I wait. The new flour has arrived and has been suitably inaugurated by my "kittens" (4 year old supposedly hypoallergenic Siberians that Hubbers jokingly calls "the Russian thugs"). They adore anything Gluten Free, so maybe that's a good sign. I am waiting for the EZgluten test kit to arrive, as confirmation of their feline endorsement.

And, in the interim, I made Blackbird Bakery's Gluten Free Popovers. I replaced the whole cow's milk with unsweetened coconut milk. I took about 2 tablespoons of the Sweet Rice Flour out of the measure and added back the same amount of coconut flour because it makes baked goods so tender. Delicious! Brand new, eggy goodness. Sunday bread. Special occasion, dressy bread.

I'm still longing for the return of the Whole Grain Loaf with Buckwheat Flour. I followed the Goddess' recipe almost exactly. (Aquarians have this incurable need to introduce small, personal, tweaky changes.) Since I don't love the taste of Millet Flour, I used Teff Flour instead. And my local, organic, raw honey is Blueberry, not Buckwheat. Otherwise, E.X.A.C.T.L.Y. what she said. And, like I said, Glory!

So that is how it happens, friend and neighbors.

One way or another, 

We fall down. 

We get up

(usually sometime later  

and sometimes with a big bill to pay along the way). 

We soldier on toward a semblance of wellness, 

replicating Rebecca Boone in our 21st century, 

blazing a culinary trail through the processed food wilderness 

for all of those to whom Mother Nature and Big Food 

have failed to show unconditional love...

Join us! You won't be sorry.

HypFoods Very Special Blueberry Pie

Clearly, we are not the only ones who love this delectable dessert. The Divine Ms. M, Bette Midler, devoted an entire number to the treat and you can download the Blueberry Pie audio file from Amazon any time. Or better yet, send it to your Amazon Cloud server & you'll be able to access/enjoy it anywhere you go!

It's the hands-down, all-time FAVORITE pie for Hubbers. He likes it MORE than Lemon Meringue and he REALLY likes Lemon Meringue. For this reason alone, it must be a special pie. For ever so long, I used the Peach Blueberry pie recipe (minus the peaches) from Fields of Greens by Annie Somerville.  This is a collection of recipes for vegetarian dishes and it is all about the flavors of the featured fruits and veggies. I baked it in her Tart Shell crust. We LOVED that pie. It was perfect bliss at any time of year.

Then came the gluten dilemma. I tried a few crusts sans wheat and gluten, but we were underwhelmed with the results. For us, the whole point of pie is that meltingly tender, flaky and delicious pastry wrapping, the crust. Lacking the knowledge to reproduce this delicacy in the absence of gluten, I became discouraged. I stopped making pie. Hubbers bought a few pies in various shops, but invariably decided that they contained too much sugar to be really delicious OR really, truly healthy.

One day, I met Jeanne Sauvage (@FourChickens) after she had collaborated with Seattle's own superstar of home-baked pies, Kate McDermott. She told me she had nailed the flaky pie crust without gluten. I invited her to show me. We videotaped the project. She was RIGHT! She makes an excellent, very flaky crust using various flours, mostly various rice flours.

There is nothing lacking in her recipe or technique, but when you are livin' la vida loca GLUTEN-FREE, you eat a LOT of rice flour. I get bored with the flavor. I also think it is much better for our postmodern human gut to mix it up a little in the region of the tummy. Same old, same old, day after day is just not good for the innards. No one ever ate like that before the 1950s, a.k.a. back when you had to eat what you could get based on seasonality.

My search continued, with a recently added special twist. One of my most beloved tango belles is allergic to all things CORN. So out goes the cornstarch we gluten-free bakers like to use for fluff and binder. Oh well, I never liked cornstarch that much anyway. But, now what?

A little research and Voila! Hat-tip to the geniuses at Google Search and I had convincingly assessed that arrowroot is the logical replacement for cornstarch and oftentimes better than this particular corny villain. It doesn't play nicely in sauces made with dairy, but arrowroot is superior to cornstarch in most other recipes. So I learned. And my CORN-FREE friend confirmed.

Scanning through my various gluten-free cookbooks and recipes, I was seeing a lot of rice flour. Not what I wanted. Eventually, I returned to my current favorite, Blackbird Bakery by Karen Morgan, where I found the flavor profile I was looking for in a pie crust. With just a few modifications to her overall approach, I traded my blogging time that Monday for a romp in the kitchen with a rolling pin. Here's what ensued:

I rinsed 3 pints of fresh, organic blueberries in a large (2 gal) Ziploc bag with a solution of filtered tap water, freshly squeezed juice of 1/2 lemon and about a tablespoon of Sovereign Silver.

You may be wondering about the Sovereign Silver. It is a very effective antimicrobial that kills numerous unpleasant antagonists like Salmonella and E.Coli. It comes in solution with distilled water, about 10ppm. It has been developed for oral administration. I keep a little spray bottle on the kitchen shelf, along with a dropper bottle of the same product. This way I can add a little to my rinse water for produce or spritz my fresh salad greens right in the bowl. Tasteless and odorless, it's "all good" and by using a little Sovereign Silver, I don't need to worry about organisms that I cannot see on my fruits and veggies. (Not recommended for folks with chronic kidney disease.)

By the way, did you know that there is a way to recycle Ziplocs and other plastic bags? Please watch the following 2+ minute video to learn more about this new initiative:

These blueberries were shipped from California since our local berries are not yet ripe, but I HAPPILY collected them for $1.99/pint at our local Whole Foods Market in a special one day sale. I let them stand in solution for about 10 or 20 minutes while I gathered the items that I needed to make my crust, then rinsed the fruit through a colander.

I lined my large jelly roll pan with Bounty paper towels and turned the berries into the pan, then placed them in a slightly warm oven with the convection fan running. There they remained until it was time to fill our pie.

With only the very slightest adaptation to Karen Morgan's Short Crust Dough (p.98), we were well on the road to fresh dessert happiness. I fitted my SideSwipe blade onto the grand dam of our kitchen, an old and highly functional KitchenAid stand mixer, plain white in color. I filled the stainless steel mixing bowl with the dry ingredients:
3/4 Cup Tapioca Flour
3/4 Cup Arrowroot
1/4 Cup + 2 TBS Sweet Rice Flour
1/4 Cup Sorghum Flour
2 TBS Coconut Flour
1 TBS Granulated Baker's Sugar
1 TBS Zero Low Glycemic Sweetener
1/4 tsp finely ground kosher salt
1.5 tsp guar gum

All of these dry ingredients were combined thoroughly using a stainless steel whisk. Next, I ADDED:

1 Cup (2 sticks) cold unsalted *cultured* organic butter, diced into small cubes

and beat with the mixer until the ingredients looked more like coarse bread crumbs, but not long enough to warm up the butter and smooth out the dough. Again, an ADDITION:

3 large organic eggs, which I had previously cracked one by one into a small bowl, ensuring that each was unspoiled.

I mixed everything on high speed until the dough began to fold down from the sides of the bowl. My dough was a lovely and alluring soft schmear when I stopped mixing. It seemed to literally invite me to try a small sample. Heavenly!

As instructed in Blackbird Bakery's recipe, I turned the dough out for kneading. I had prepared a GLUTEN-FREE bamboo cutting board that was generously dusted with Sweet Rice Flour. I kneaded the dough gently until it held together in a way that approximated a traditional pie crust, then divided it in half and kneaded a bit more, adding more dusting flour as necessary. When I had two balls that seemed relatively crease free, I formed the two traditional disks and wrapped each in a bit of parchment paper. These were set into a less cold area of the fridge to rest and develop flavor as well as firmness for the next steps. I timed the resting at 2 hours and forced myself to meet that goal, although Hubbers lobbied heavily for a finished pie sooner!

I learned two SUPERB secrets to successful gluten-free pie crust from Jeanne Sauvage (@FourChickens) when we shot her pie crust video (coming soon). She used a French Rolling Pin in a very Zen style on her gluten-free dough. You want a cold dough and a light hand. You don't MAKE gluten-free pie crust flatten so much as you ENCOURAGE it to shape-shift so that it will cover your pie plate. Take your time. Be gentle. Imagine butterflies in fields of wildflowers and flutter gently over your dough with the lightest touch that you can manage. Almost magically, the dough begins to cooperate and you have a 12 - 14" round that is as beautiful and whole as anything you ever made using wheat flour.

I placed a large sheet of parchment over the circle of dough and inverted the cutting board so that the dough was on the paper. Then I aligned the cutting board with the edge of the counter and slid the paper back onto the flat board. At this point, I positioned the inverted glass pie plate over the round of dough and flipped the whole affair. Tah-Dah! My pie plate was lined with a lovely GLUTEN-FREE crust and I had only to trim and patch the edges.

I covered the pie plate and set it in the fridge to chill while I prepped the berries. Since I am not a fan of heavy, syrupy doses of sugar in my desserts, this was a fairly simple project. I transferred the berries from the jelly pan in the oven to a medium sized mixing bowl. Following our favorite filling recipe from Fields of Greens (1993 edition), I began mixing:

3 Pints blueberries
2 TBS organic cane sugar
1.5 TBS Zero low glycemic sweetener

Since blueberries do not release much juice, I thought about how to increase the fruity goodness of the pie filling. I set the bowl of berries aside and retrieved a jar of Bionaturae Organic Wild Berry Fruit Spread from the fridge. This delicious fruit spread has no added sugar or chemicals and adds a healthy pop of flavor to everything from oatmeal to gelatin without pumping up the calories or glycemic levels.

I scooped a few tablespoons into a small bowl and warmed it gently in the microwave until I was able to spread it with a pastry brush. Then I brushed the bottom crust with the spread and added the berries. I rolled out the top crust and flipped it onto parchment as before. I brushed the inside face of the crust with more of the Wild Berry Spread and inverted it onto the filled pie. (Next time, I will probably just mix it right in with the berries before they go into the crust.)

I crimped the crusts together and brushed the top with a mixture of egg yolk and almond milk. I placed the pie onto a small cookie sheet lined with foil and baked it in a 400 degree oven for 45 minutes. After the first 20 minutes, I folded the edges of foil up around the outer rim of the pie to protect the crust from carbonizing. And with that, a STAR was born!

I am trying to wait for the next sale of fresh organic blueberries, but I don't think that we will make it. Still, if I can hold the cost of the homemade pie at under $20 each, I think we are well ahead of commercial products in all categories: cost, health benefits AND flavor!

What is YOUR favorite summertime fruit pie?

*******
This post spans the topics for 

2011 Q2/Week 11 Local/Organic and Week 12 Gluten-Free.

Up next: 2011 Q2/Week 13 Holiday Spotlight.

11 in '11: How to Tame Your Dragon Tummy

Can you believe that the first month of the first year of a brand new decade is half gone already?!  The holidays have flown away and many of our resolutions for the new year have already made off in hot pursuit!  If you committed to healthier choices in 2011, we salute you and we want to share some secret weapons with you all along the way.

We are kicking off this project with a look at some of the products that have aided in recovery from the effects of chronic illness on the digestive system.  These are not prescription products and most of them are not expensive or hard to find, but because they don't have the massive coverage of a Big Budget Business behind them, you may not know how useful they can be.

As always, we remind you that this information is anecdotal in nature. We are not medical professionals and are not paid to promote the products we cite herein. Our comments are based on personal experience and solid research. Our readers accept full responsibility for their choices and are advised to review their health challenges and choices with their own most trusted medical professional.

Without further ado, here is the lineup:

HypFoods Top 11 in '11 Tips
How to Tame Your Dragon Tummy

#11 = DO A DETOX! I did my first total program detox in 2007 and the benefits were so significant that I now repeat the program twice per year. January is the perfect time to do a detox program because all of the indulgences of the holiday season are behind you and your body is primed for the experiment. Nights are still long and you can get the extra rest that the detox will probably impose on you. My favorite program was created by Dr. Mark Hyman, formerly of Canyon Ranch Health and Healing Spa (Lenox location in the Berkshires). My original logic in selecting his program from a crowded field was based simply on the thousands of people he had worked with in that setting. Dr. Hyman has authored many books and other information products that add value for those interested in improving their health through better nutrition, but The Detox Box is the leading product for this program. It's well-organized and comprehensive including shopping lists and sources, but laid out in a unique format of cards and CDs that make it highly manageable, too. The science behind the program is both proven and sound. This is the perfect place to start your new approach to a better life with more understanding, more energy and much less pain!

#10 = ADD DGL to your arsenal. Licorice has some truly amazing healing properties, but it also has a serious downside: it can cause your blood sugar to spike, leading to all kinds of problems if your body doesn't manage insulin processes efficiently.  Many reputable supplement manufacturers have addressed this problem by De-Glycyrrhizing their Licorice lozenges. The result is a form of licorice with healing properties intact but none of the sugar-provoking reactions. There is a short, but interesting and balanced report on efficacies at the University of Maryland Medical Center website. I have found DGL to be better than OTC antacid products for relieving heartburn and the abdominal pain that comes from inflammation of the lining that has been damaged by gluten reactions and other conditions. DGL is meant to be chewed, but it is not a candy and doesn't taste like one. I usually get sufficient relief from half a lozenge, swallowed with a beverage or freshly filtered water as needed. I don't personally enjoy them enough to chew them, but I do appreciate their great efficacy. Regular use helps to rebuild the mucosal lining of the digestive tract and the improvements last until the next time I have a dairy binge!

#09 = CONSIDER THIS: Small package, BIG Bang! SD for Stomach Distress. I haven't used this one regularly for treatment of the conditions that I face daily, such as dairy and gluten allergies, but living in a multi-cultural port city means ready access to some EXCELLENT sashimi. And what is sashimi without a potent taste of wasabi to clear the palate? I love wasabi. I enjoy it with liberality when indulging in the raw fare of my favorite Japanese eateries, but I always know that my gallbladder is going to kick me where it hurts, and hard, afterwards.  A dose of SD, that's just 2 sprays under the tongue, is almost the only thing that I have found to alleviate this pain, which is sharp, relentless and very, very mean.  Visit Liddell's website for a complete list of the ingredients in any of their symptom-based, homeopathic products. They make a full range of products, most of which I have never tried. This one I keep on the shelf because it is almost instantly effective with no side effects of any kind that I have ever noticed. Here's to feeling better, fast!

#08 = ARM yourself against nausea and harmful microbes! Whether its from a full-blown assault of migraine, seasonal flu, or a bad batch of egg salad, Stomach Rescue by Peaceful Mountain is the bazooka of all my remedies. The lab-tested, milky gray fluid delivers the knockout punch to E.Coli, Salmonella and Listeria. It is formulated from purified water, peppermint oil, and ionic silver at 40 ppm. I have used it for 2 or 3 years now and only rarely have I ever needed a second dose. It is a staple in my medicine cabinet and I have it shipped in regularly via Amazon's Subscribe & Save program. There are several excellent studies available online addressing the efficacy of ionic or colloidal silver against a variety of conditions, but this formula is TOPS for eliminating nausea. WARNING = silver may be contraindicated for individuals with compromised kidneys and use of silver should be reported to your radiotech if you need a magnetic procedure such as an MRI.

#07 = WOO your tummy, wherever you are. NOW Peppermint Gels are enteric coated softgels that are small enough to carry around with you. Each caplet contains a therapeutic dose of peppermint oil in combination with a little ginger oil and a little fennel oil. NOW has revamped their product line so that all of their products are free of most common allergens, including gluten - corn - dairy - sugar - preservatives. I LOVE them for that! These softgels, however, do contain soybean oil in the capsule.
Not recommended for those with soy allergies.

#06 = INDULGE a little. Sometimes you just want that velvet sense of luxury in your tummy, the kind we allergics can no longer get from cream and sugar on a bowl of fresh berries. But wait! Actually, we can if we shop correctly! The advent of So Delicious Unsweetened Coconut Milk products opened up a whole new world of possibilities. Some of their products are just too sweet for me, but if I stick with the unsweetened line, oh my! I'm planning a Red Velvet Valentine Nog for the coming holiday and it will be based on their unsweetened beverage, now available in Whole Foods and other fine grocers across the country. While it isn't a fat-free beverage, it IS one delicious and valued alternative to dairy products and works equally well in most recipes, one for one.

#05 = SIP your soothers. When the painful feedback from my digestive system is persistent and the intermittent dosing with capsules and lozenges isn't facilitating a lasting improvement, it's time to switch to a helpful tea. I like to use crushed fennel seed and peppermint tea in combination with Numi's Organic Gunpowder Green Tea. I brew a pot in the morning and sip it all day long. Once the sun sets, I switch off the green caffeinated tea. This concoction is delicious and healing, as well as warming through the cold winter months, but equally delicious steeped and served over coconut ice in the summertime. Enjoy!

#04 = EAT MORE RAW produce. Even if you are diligent about including salads in your menu and eating your daily fresh apple, banana or citrus boost, taming your dragon tummy relies on more than these helpful choices. Healing is facilitated by reintroducing a fresh and clean supply of antioxidants, enzymes and phytonutrients to your digestive system by eating a variety of fruits and vegetables. These healing agents are generally most potent if they have not been broken down by the heat of cooking. Start with raw foods you know and love. Try to eat twice as many fresh vegetables as fruits and stick with organic produce as much as possible. If microbial infestations are a concern, blanche your fresh foods in boiling water, preferably filtered, or rinse them in a simple solution of water and lemon juice with a little kosher salt. Expand your raw selections with something new or different and a couple of fresh, untried colors each time you shop. Avoid foods in the nightshade family while you are in dragon-tamer mode. Intake of raw foods should be reduced during most detox programs, then gradually re-introduced after the detox period is completed.

#03 = SHORTEN your recovery time. It took me years of experimentation to find a product that would actually help to shorten the cycle of pain and discomfort that I experience when someone falsely informs me that their food is gluten/dairy free. Without judging whether or not they knew their information was false, those of us with chronic conditions do suffer a variety of maladies when this happens. I don't use these enzymes every day, as they are not that well tolerated by my system. And as the label points out, the product is not meant to enable the buyer to eat offending foods at will. Breaking your hypoallergenic diet causes long-term problems and the consequences are simply not acceptable to me. But discretionary use when I need it has been effective and I now keep this in my medicine cabinet for occasional use when I have been "gluten-bombed".

#02 = PURGE the toxins gently. Another dragon-induced problem that took me years to resolve was the bloating that makes a person look so much rounder than s/he really is. I studied this problem for a long time and tried many possible solutions. Activated charcoal tablets will absorb and neutralize a substantial quota of material (including solids and gases, even prescription medications) and render it relatively harmless so that it passes quite normally, except that it will be blackened by the presence of the charcoal. Because of its ability to neutralize almost anything in the dragon's lair, it is important to time the ingestion of the charcoal tablet carefully. I take one tablet as needed 2 hours after any significant supplement or prescription and 2 hours before the next significant dose, so that's in the middle of a 4 hour window. This is the only method of reducing bloating that I am happy to use as needed.

#01 = TRY ABDOMINAL MASSAGE THERAPY. This is a unique and distinctive solution that helps to resolve a variety of tummy-centric challenges for both men and women. Finding a practitioner who has received adequate training will be your first hurdle. I pondered this option somewhat passively for a couple of years before I found Claire at 5Focus Studio and booked my first session. You can visit their website for a brief description or phone the Studio and leave a message for Claire if would like to discuss the service or locate a practitioner in your area. To learn more about the benefits of this therapy, review this article. I continue with this practice 3 or 4 times each year to maintain good health and keep my dragon tummy calm, cool, and cuddly.

Visit GlutenFreeMom's website for her "Detox January" feature!

America's Food Wasteland: Gluten Free Travel in Central Florida

Shout out to the artist, Nu Breed, for that apropo video. If you've been to Polk County, you know what he's talkin' 'bout. If you haven't been there, take it from me, that groove pretty much sums up the vibe. Life is tough in this All American locale. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a more seriously impoverished area of the country. Average household income is less than $35K/year, even in a booming economy.

I always plan my travel around the proximity of Whole Foods markets because with my collection of food allergies, it is vital that I have access to food that I know I can safely enjoy. With family residing in Polk County, I know the locations of all the Whole Foods from Orlando to Tampa and have visited most of them over the years. My mother, who shares some of my allergies, had requested a trip to the Tampa store on this visit, and since that is my favorite I happily agreed. 

Being a "first things first" kinda gal, it was my top priority to to check in on my father, whose poor health and bad behavior had necessitated this trip. I like to go and look after him to give his woman a break, so that she can get away without having to be overly anxious about whether he remembered to eat his dinner or take his meds or put out his cigarette before he falls asleep.

I slept through most of the redeye flight from homebase, then ambled off the airplane and into the terminal at Orlando International Airport to wait for my transport out to the boonies. We had no plan to stop in Orlando, as I needed to check in on Dad. I collected my luggage and an empty wheelchair, which I dragged near enough to an electrical that I could plug in my Android phone darling for power.

Fumbling around in my SeaTac shopping bag, I found the can of Wild Salmon that I had purchased the night before. I opened the box and slid out the small pop-top can. I didn't have any utensils, so I pulled the lid off the can and bent it into the shape of a -- spovel? -- a makeshift combination of spoon and shovel. I retrieved the loaf of gluten free bread I brought from home and started my meager breakfast, all the while giving thanks for the abundance of healthy, local foods available to us in the Pacific Northwest.

I glanced at the box from which I had taken the can of salmon while I offered silent thanks for that cardboard casing and pop top that made it so convenient to literally eat and run. I prayed a blessing on the businesses and people who labored to produce these resources, a practice I learned from Marge Piercy's Pesach for the Rest of Us.

And then I froze. There is nothing on God's green/blue planet that I hate more than cockroaches. Except maybe possums. No, definitely cockroaches are the worst creatures ever to evolve on our homeworld. Ever.

Yes, I saw Wall-E. Loved it, in fact! But no, they did not succeed in making La Cucarocha adorable. I spent the entire first viewing time struggling to restrain my disgust and hysteria at the featured creepy crawler. Can't abide 'em. And they had already zeroed in on my presence.

I had been in Florida for less than thirty minutes and here was the first of the genre, skittering about my salmon box and sending out signals of delirium to kith and kin. My horror only grew deeper as they began to congregate in the planter where I had temporarily parked my box. I really intended to toss it in a trash can, but there was NO WAY I could be persuaded to touch that thing now!

Mother arrived to whisk me away from the nightmare, thank God! And since there was no time to visit the Orange County Whole Foods markets, we made a stop at Publix in our destination town. Turns out Winter Haven is the hometown of Publix Super Markets. And in this place where the cheapest possible food seems to be necessitated by the ultra-low incomes, Publix has made a small commitment to gluten free and organic goodness. THANK YOU, Publix!!!

I was able to get a few staple groceries and I still had my loaf of homemade bread. I found some coconut water and some Fiji water for good hydration. I bought some organic apples and celery, some ground buffalo and ground lean beef (not organic, but at least free of hormones & antibiotics), and some gluten free So Delicious Coconut Milk Cookie Dough frozen dessert. Publix stocks Chex brand gluten free cereals.

I was surprised to note in passing that they also had some of our favorite West Coast wines on the shelf, namely Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel and Ravenswood!

We had a small family dinner at the local Outback Steakhouse and I learned that this American family favorite has a separate gluten free menu and ALL staffers are trained to manage the special needs of customers with celiac disease or gluten intolerance.

In the end, events transpired to facilitate my swift return to homebase after only a couple of days in the 'hood, so we didn't make the planned pilgrimage to Whole Foods/Tampa. Instead, I got to stop in at the onsite Hyatt, completely accessible from within the Orlando International Airport. This hotel has saved me on numerous trips, just by being there. Since I am prone to vestibular migraine (the kind caused by sudden changes in barometric pressure, such as those you experience during rapid descent on a commercial airliner), there have been times that I could go no farther once I reached Orlando. Instead, I took a room at this Hyatt and ordered a protein entree sent to the room, then took my migraine medication followed by a tub soak for hydration and crashed.

Most of the major hotel chains in America have trained their kitchens to understand the needs of the gluten free customer, so they can be a big help to you when traveling. You wouldn't ordinarily think of a hotel dining room as a dinner destination, but they can be quite good for people with food allergies and often not more expensive than other restaurants in the same town. I have had dinner in Porterhouse at the Orlando Airport Marriott with good success and this Hyatt is my favorite in the continental USA. With a small, "safe food" respite, I was ready to board my homeward bound flight with a smile.

I used the time on board this flight to entertain the American soldier's young son across the aisle and to map out a basic plan for our upcoming teleconference series, Gluten Free Fast Track. All you #GF folks out there, watch for upcoming announcements of this series, slated to begin mid-October. Leave a comment on this page if you would like more information or follow me on Twitter @HypFoods.

IFBC, Part 1: How does your (food blogging) garden grow?

I had a plan for this series of blog posts.  The International Food Bloggers Conference (IFBC) is fading into the recent past, but the memories still feed my soul.  I have initialized my brand spanking new copy of DoubleTwist and begun to share photos between the Mac and my CatDroid.  The Spirit moves me to write!


I thought I would start with the "molecular gastronomy" event at the Intellectual Ventures Lab, in which those who were fortunate enough to receive an invitation were treated to 12 (count them, 12!) different dishes and face-time with each of the genius co-authors behind the forthcoming Modernist Cuisine.


In my mind, this event really was the crowning jewel of the conference, although it is surrounded by all manner of glittering gems.  A premiere event for food bloggers that is all about the numerous ways to think and write and learn about food, featuring some of the sexiest food that ever graced the human palate, is REALLY tough to top.


Still, as I allow the waves of memories to break upon the shore of my awareness, I must admit that the conference came full circle for me at a charming little neighborhood restaurant bar called Cichetti, thanks to the indomitable efforts of two great Twitter pals: @FranticFoodie (aka Keren Brown) and @CarrieOliver.


As you might well anticipate, there was something a wee bit frantic in that last minute invite that I received pre-conference from Keren Brown.  (Who says spontaneous people can't be successful in business?)  It happened live in real time on Wednesday before the conference started.  I was scanning somewhat recklessly through my HootSuite streams.  I no longer remember what I was looking for.  Keren and I connected online and she extended the invitation to join a group of writers at Cichetti for a preview of the forthcoming cookbook from Kristine Kidd (former editor at Bon Appetit).  


The event started at 5:00 pm.  I stared at the clock: 3:20 pm.  I made a mental calculation of how many things I would have to accomplish before I could leave the house while I queried her on how long the event would last.  I love Cichetti almost as much as I love @FranticFoodie, so I knew I was going to do it.  I began to jettison things from my work schedule.


I arrived in the South Lake Union neighborhood just before Kristine began her presentation.  She previewed her new book and talked about life without the magazine.  She fielded questions about the publishing industry and numerous photos were made.

Delicious grenache wines from McCrea were poured and a delicate apperitif was passed around the small throng.

Air Kisses from @FranticFoodie 

@FranticFoodie brought gifts!  She collected business cards from all present and drew winners for each item.  I actually WON a brand new olive wood spatula (glu-ten-free-ee!). Yay!

Mozz wrapped in grilled eggplant

And the kitchen maestros at Cichetti turned out 3 delicious gluten-free apps for yours truly, even though Keren had just given them notice about an hour before the event began! Those folks know how to LOVE their guests!


Everyone went home with a review copy of the new book and the instruction not to give away the treats within until the book release date in October.  We also had the clear sense that one fantastic hit parade of a weekend conference had already begun.


SO! That was all pre-conference!  For those of us who bought a seat at the Artisan Beef Tasting dinner arranged by @CarrieOliver, we'd be back on Monday evening, post-conference, for the coda.